I want my ex back, I want my ex back, I WANT MY EX BACK… NOW!!!!!!!!! Are these the words that you can’t escape? Most people find themselves in relationships and don’t realize what they have until it lost. There are times when a relationship ends because you or your partner may think there is someone better out there, or they make a mistake which completely destroys the integrity of the bond. Other individuals can be the perfect spouse, girlfriend/ boyfriend, lover and/or significant other, but still find themselves in a broken relationship, saying, What do I do? I want my ex back!
“I Want My Ex Back… Please Help!!!”
I want my ex back consideration #1 – So you say, I want my ex back, and I ask… Why? Why do you want them back so badly? This is a question you must ask yourself, or I can guarantee that your chances of success will not be as great. You have to truly understand why you want them back or your drive in doing so can be lost along the way. I have seen it happen numerous times.
If you are only concerned with getting your ex back because of the toll it has taken on your self esteem, or because you feel like there is no one else out there that will love you for who you are, then you need to take some time off from relationships and concentrate on yourself first.
Now on the flip side, if you are on the ‘I want my ex back’ path because you truly love and cherish that person, and you have a genuine respect and admiration for them, then by all means, go for it. It is just unhealthy if it is for anything less than that.
Many times people say I want my ex back simply because now it’s something they can’t have. Like a kid crying in a candy store. The only reason they are really crying is because they can’t have it, not because it’s that great. Be sure that you are not that kid in the candy store is all I’m trying to get at. If you are, you need some ‘you’ time to build yourself back up.
I want my ex back consideration #2 – Now that you have thought about why you’re saying I want my ex back, consider the reasons you are not together anymore. The real reasons. Was it something you did? If so, you should take the appropriate steps to fix whatever that may be, unless it involves calling your ex. We aren’t there yet, so avoid doing that. If you did something that you need to apologize for, you need to sit down and hand write a letter. Yes, I said hand write. Not an email or a text message. You need to hand write a letter.
This letter should be an apology for the mistakes you made. You shouldn’t spend the whole time explaining yourself nor should you ask for anything. You aren’t asking for a second chance here. You are just expressing your regret for the way you acted or the things that you did. You should wish them well, and then that is the end of it. Mail that off the first chance you get.
I want my ex back consideration #3 – After the why and the what part of getting your ex back, start looking at your expectations of yourself. Look at your expectations in a relationship. Do they match? Are they one sided? More times than not, these expectations are very one sided. You should take a few weeks to be demanding of yourself in the same way that you are demanding in a relationship.
I know that statement usually offends people. But the point of the exercise here is to put yourself through exactly what you put your partner through. You may not notice a change at all in the outcome, but it most certainly leaves you with more balance in how you approach getting your ex back. It allows you to more easily identify and agree on your flaws as opposed to become defensive and close down. There is a method to my madness, so don’t get mad at me yet… Are you still with me? Ok good…
I want my ex back consideration #4 – Take a break from this big push you have to get your ex back. It will serve you well, and it will undoubtedly give you a far better chance at success. Be sure to continue to refrain from contact with your ex while you work on these next few things.
It’s you time. You need to do things outside of a relationship that make you happy, such as go out with friends or take a class for something you’ve always been interested in. You should constantly be looking for more things to occupy your time and take you mind off of your ex and shift your thinking to yourself. Be selfish for a little while. It will serve you well I assure you. And don’t worry, it is part of our plan to get your ex back.
I want my ex back consideration #5 – This is our final consideration. How do you feel? Are you happier without your ex? Truly? If you answered yes, then continue on with your new found happiness, but if you answered no, can you explain why? Let’s review the things we have just accomplished.
You thought long and hard about why you are in the I want my ex back mode. The reason why you do this is to be sure that this is something you truly want and for the right reasons. You thought about your mistakes in your relationship and you took the appropriate steps to fix them. If you had feelings of guilt, they should no longer be there.
You continued on putting expectations on yourself to eliminate your possible dependance on the person you are no longer with. Then you took a break and focused on yourself because quite frankly, we all need to be selfish every once in a while.
Now you are focusing on whether you are happier without that person, and if you answered no, you will be talking with this person and asking them to give you another chance in our final stretch, but you will be doing so in a completely different state of mind than you were before you implemented our I want my ex back considerations.
I Want My Ex Back – Final Stretch
Your job now is to simply tell your ex how you feel. Tell them what you have done in all the I want my ex back considerations. You need to tell them why you want them in your life. You need to admit to them where your faults were and what you did to fix them. You need to explain what your new expectations are in a relationship.
Remember that now, you no longer NEED it because you are relying on yourself to take care of it. It is only something that you would prefer to have. Tell them about all you have done in your time away and the new things that you are now involved in, but let them know that it does not leave you happy because it doesn’t include them.
At this point you have taken all of the pressure off of your ex and you have put it on yourself. You have filled the void that they have left on your own, and now it will be much easier for them to make the decision to come back to you. If you implement this strategy effectively, it will work.
This approach goes way deeper than just words. It dives into all of the normal psychological triggers that are responsible for rekindling relationships. If you work hard at being thorough with these considerations, you will undoubtedly come out a happier person on the other side, and you will no longer be saying I want my ex back, because they will be right there with you.
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